It’s that time of year. A jolly old customer of yours has reappeared from hibernation (where does he spend his off-season, anyway? The Villages? West Palm? Key West?). He only works one day a year – must be rough – and needs insurance and needs it fast.

Here goes.

He owns a large distribution center (good luck finding the latitude and longitude of One North Pole on Google Maps) that is off the grid (protection class 10) and employs hundreds of elves (workers compensation, employment practices liability, medical and dental benefits).

The “workshop,” as he calls it, uses multiple wood burning stoves (fire hazard) to combat the cold and was built before 1984 (4-point inspection required).

He drives a flying sleigh (non-motorized vehicle not licensed for road use) pulled by eight reindeer (non-domestic animals) across the entire Earth (worldwide contents and liability exposure).

He delivers gifts (business liability) that were built by his employees (product and completed operations) to children by landing on their rooftops (damage to property of others) and climbing down their chimneys (breaking and entering?).

While in their homes, he eats food that has been left out on the table (possible theft, at least from the viewpoint of the four year old who expected the cookies to still be there in the morning) and then leaves to repeat the act at other households multiple times in one evening (one occurrence or multiple?).

On top of that, he also partly relies on the elves at Amazon to do a lot of his package delivery (contract liability, cyber liability and data breach) and uses parents to ensure he is not discovered (vicarious liability?).

He doesn’t get paid for his work (no loss of income exposure) and needs to protect himself from an individual named the Grinch who is trying to steal his completed products (add a credit for the anti-theft kill switch on his sleigh).

He’s not exactly forthright with his age (senior or retiree credit?)

You’ve got your hands full with this guy. Good luck.

In all seriousness, Tower Hill wishes you, your families, and your customers a happy holidays celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other religious or family tradition. We thank you for a wonderful 2014.